“You just travel around visiting churches?  By yourself?” 

I wrote a mostly positive REVIEW of my experience at Holden Fellowship.  I liked the preaching, the brochure, and the free T-shirt.  I was critical of an awkward praise band, eerie lighting and preachy prayer.   But my greatest insights came from this very brief encounter with a Worcester Polytechnic University bio-chem introvert.  The Reform Presbyterian from Philadelphia had visited four evangelical churches and did not feel comfortable in any of them but could not put her finger on why.

The 2009 book Introverts in Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture offers clues about why this young woman may yet find a home in one of the two-dozen large mainline churches she passed in Worcester on her way out to the suburb with her likely extroverted, evangelical friend.  Author Adam S. McHugh is a former college chaplain who finally embraced his introverted nature and settled more naturally into hospice chaplaincy instead. McHugh visited a rapid-paced contemporary service spewing an endless stream of words and reflected, “Never have I needed a nap so badly after church.”   He continued:

Introverts often feel more freedom in worship services that feature traditional liturgy than they do in ones that feature more open, informal, unstructured styles.  [In traditional churches there is] less expectation from worship leaders that participants will offer outward, emotional responses (190).

McHugh suggests that churches have bought into the myth, based on a reading of Acts 2,  that spiritual maturity is best expressed by constant togetherness (“everybody should be in worship and in a small group”), decisive responses to polemic arguments, and a willingness to share a personal testimony.  The WPI student felt safe in the anonymous dark and she likely appreciated that few participants of the Holden Fellowship Church raised their hands, clapped, or otherwise reacted externally to the experience.  But she dreaded the possibility that she would be stopped and questioned in the bright cafe.  And I suspect she disliked the pace of this service.

What can church leaders do for introverts?

1. Sensitivity:  Worship leaders should make it clear that there are many acceptable ways to participate in worship ranging from celebration to contemplation.
2. Scripture Lesson as Lectio Divina:  The congregation can be given better spiritual preparation for hearing the lesson and then offered the reading two or even three times, followed by space for contemplation.
3. Open-Ended Questions:  Rather than teaching and preaching polemic messages, embrace mystery.
4. Incorporate Silence:  Some churches offer up to two minutes after the sermon.

Finally, what can be done about the entrance and exit to worship?   My son came home from school recently and asked us if we knew how to dance.  Fearing an embarrassing set-up we asked him for more background.  His world geography teacher always plays music on the class computer between PowerPoint presentations and expects his 6th grade students to get up from their desks and dance.  The teacher decided to make a contest of it, so our son needed to step-up his game.  Was participation mandatory, we ask?   “Yes.”  He is an extrovert and was glad to perform the Bollywood routine gleaned from YouTube the night before.  But it should not be a mandatory exercise. ‘

It is not a failure for adults to attend worship and then dart out the back door without shaking  a single hand.  Hand-shaking and life sharing are not mandatory spiritual exercises.  In spite of so much advice around hospitality suggesting we position greeters at every door, priming every member to engage every new participant, perhaps we should label one door “Mercy” and let it swing freely, gracefully, for introverts.

Mount Vernon Place United Methodist Church in Washington D.C.

I visited two “community” churches in Washington D.C..  The pastor of National Community Church was trying to raise $15,000 for an espresso machine.  The pastor of New Community Church was trying to raise $10 million for a local bank they were starting.  I wrote reviews of both mind-blowing churches HERE.

As usual I  interviewed the person seated in front of me in worship which happened in both churches to be 21-year-old women.  When I asked one why she needed Jesus, she quickly answered “We are all fallen and cannot access God.  Jesus is the bridge.”  I waited for something more, some clarification of “fallen” for example or maybe a more nuanced, personal, account of how she had shimmied over the Jesus bridge.  Nothing.   I restated it for her hoping it would seem incomplete and she would want to flesh-it-out a little; You need Jesus to help you get to God?  “Yeah!” she tells me with raised eyebrows as if I seemed to really get her meaning.

The woman from the other church asked for a minute to think after I asked her why she needed Jesus. She eventually  responded  “Jesus is an example to me of love for the poor, of challenging the powers,and of taking risks.”  I restated her answer and she was glad to tell me about her personal struggles of faith.

I asked them both to share why they need the church.  The participant of the $15,000 espresso machine church admitted she attends this Saturday night service because it is innovative.  The participant of the $10 million “let’s create a community bank” church shared that her church’s requirements for membership are pretty stringent.  Prospective core members have to complete a year-long course for Christian Living, be a regular participant in a small group, and be willing to honestly identify their gifts and passion, striving to live-out this calling in loving service to the stranger.  Each October is a church-wide time of membership reevaluation, and some acknowledge they can no longer continue membership with integrity.  My subject admits that this kind of accountability around spiritual formation might seem “heavy-handed,” “But it’s good.  It’s like spinning; sometimes you need someone to tell you to pedal hard.”

The book Almost Christian: What the Faith of Our Teenagers is Telling the American Church by Kenda Creasy Dean explains why there are so many young people like the one I interviewed who will no doubt give money toward a $15,000 church espresso machine.  Dean’s book opens with a quote from theologian Douglas John Hall:

I am personally not very much worried about the reduction in numbers where Christianity…[is]concerned.  I am far more concerned about the qualitative factor:  what kind of Christianity…are we talking about?

What kind of Christianity is worth $15,000 or even $10 million?

I visited a Worcester, MA church which is home to both a small, aging, traditional congregation and a growing, young-adult, Vineyard-style congregation.  The contrast is easy to see in this short video taken as the worship team warms-up between the 10:30 Pilgrim worship (see the chapel?) and the 12pm Woo worship (see the band?).  I wrote a REVIEW of the Pilgrim church.  It is not pretty.  I felt depressed when I left.

I visited with The Woo in July 2011 and offered a warm review of a cool church with reggae music, free fresh produce and an obvious embrace of the neighborhood.  You can read that review HERE.  Just scroll down to the bottom to read about The Woo.

The visit this Sunday reminded me of the book by Paul Nixon I Refuse to Lead a Dying Church.  These were some of the best insights for me:

Consider giving your historic space to a library association, to another church, to an ecumenical ministry, to a hotel, or to the city–to some group that will take care of it–and then let them spend millions to preserve it.  This frees you to pick and relocate your church’s ministry, without the guilt that you are somehow offending the god of architectural preservation (87).

Services deal in profound truth, but they do so in ways that simply do not engage the young adult public.  And many young men, in particular, would rather spend an hour in hell than watch Mr Rogers or sit in our church pews” (72).

And a personal favorite as I consider returning to active ministry:

Fair warning, bishop!  Fair warning, pastor search committee!  You may have people on your doorstep six months after I arrive demanding that you deliver them from me!  I am delighted to serve here, but be warned in advance, I refuse to lead a dying church!  I promise to be kind in my approach, but i will, by design, spend…

Less time in pastoral care of accumulated membership

More time building bridges in community

Less time in pointless meetings

More time developing the leaders that will be taking the church into its future.

The Pilgrim UCC congregation and building remind me of one giant, dead, Spruce tree which, as it decays, has become home to a sapling ministry called the Woo.  Today the dying log is obvious, but one day all we will see is the splayed roots of a congregation that sucked the rich nutrients of tradition and location from a “nurse log” congregation and then gained footing and strength enough to stand alone.  It is certainly sad to see such a magnificent tree fall, but it seems to me necessary for the emergence of something strong enough to thrive in the atmosphere of a new day.

Turning heads since 2007.

I couldn’t go to church on New Year’s Sunday but I was able to attend live worship online through www.Lifechurch.tv.  As with every other worship service I attend, I wrote a review of the experience.  What WINDOWS allowed light to shine into my soul and which WALLS or obstacles left me in the dark?  You can read the entire review HERE.

Three Things Worth Trying:

1. Convenient Access

I have one child, a sixth-grader, who has homework every weeknight, school-Musical rehearsals Tuesday and Thursday, basketball practice on Fridays with games early Saturday morning.  Sunday morning is open for us.  This is not true for numerous families.  Churches which do not offer numerous options for involvement will be deserted for those which do.  I “attended” LifeChurch Sunday because my son was too sick to take out-of-the-house.   I invited a friend to attend and she shared with me via Facebook that her husband was also sick, so she also needed something like LifeChurch.

This particular Internet church was a poor substitute for a more contextual church experience.  For example, as clever as it seemed for the Chat room host to “pass out muffins”, it is nothing at all like standing over a table in a hall seeing, smelling and eating the muffins, knowing that the woman winking at you from the kitchen just made them and is deeply affirmed by the crumbs in your beard and your thumbs-up approval.  The Internet church struggles against everything Incarnational and Sacramental that a real muffin represents and I for one would hate to lose the neighborhood-based church (or muffin).  But the neighborhood church must stop resisting our heavily scheduled modern reality.  At the very least we can stop forcing people to attend board meetings when instead people can learn to use Skype and online document sharing.

2. Active Participation

Among numerous take-away insights I received from Kenda Creasy Dean’s 2010 book Almost Christian:  What The Faith of our Teenagers is Telling the America Church, is the realization that our teens are reflecting back to us the “limp god” we have painted for them for years.  They have adopted our “Moralistic Therapeutic Deism” and have become consumer Christians.  I am troubled by the way LifeChurch caters to such consumers.  Still, while we work on confronting that reality in our churches we must recognize that a great majority of people now expect to have it their way–the burger, the salad, the car, the church.  Where we once demanded that people silence and stow their phones during worship we might now consider the potential for a scrolling chat bar allowing participants to ask the same sorts of questions which I did at LifeChurch.  What if we voted for the kind of music we want to hear from Sunday to Sunday?  What if we knew we could leave our seat in worship (pews have disappeared, because no-one can “leave” a pew) to either tend to a child, sit on the floor to stretch our legs or to go and get a cup of tea?  Would that be as heretical as the anti-choice church stares lead us to believe it would be?

3. Spiritually Deep Follow-Up

When the service ends we ask long-timers to abstain from talking with friends for at least five minutes choosing instead to connect with a newcomer or two.  We try to figure-out something we might have in common:  “Where do you live?  Any kids?  What do you do?  What’s with that mole on your cheek…”  Most of our questions actually create barriers.  Then we follow-up with visitors by sending coffee mugs, calendars, bread and, at the very least, an e-mail or greeting-card welcome.

I received a “Hi, DougRJ” from “Maria” at LifeChurch and I am sure I could have signed-up for the free Bible given to visitors.  But what attracted me most was a button I could have pressed for “Live Prayer.”  How many of our churches have such a button, not just on our websites (which isn’t a bad idea) but metaphorically speaking, near the worship participant?  She has come early to worship in order to have a good cry because she misses her dead husband.  Where’s the button?  He is doubting every-single-thing the preacher is saying about God and the Bible; where’s that prayer button?  He has felt something new from the closing song and he is not sure what it means or how even to talk about it; where’s the button?  What I mean by “button” is “Where is the chair beside that spiritual friend who can allow be to be an apprentice in faith?” She can offer language of prayer that I might use as I cry, or rage…or give my life to Jesus.

Three Things To Avoid:

1. Insincere Propaganda

Creflo Dollar tells millions via Cable TV each week that every challenge in his life is somehow resolved by God; it is “covered by the blood”.  With this language he connects Jesus’ bloody, sacrificial death on the cross to such things as a wayward teenager in my house, difficulty landing a job or an addiction to alcohol.  This sounds like a remix of Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking which sells millions of books precisely the same reason Starbucks sells millions of dollars worth of coffee–because it offers escape and euphoria that do not last, so we buy more.

Might people be attracted to a church community where leaders are honest about their disappointments and doubts?  Is it okay for a preacher or teacher to NOT preach/teach in a week where he or she has not quite found good news in scripture or anywhere else?

2. Unresponsive Gate-Keepers

At LifeChurch there was no triage of needs.  All chat hosts were involved with confronting inappropriate behavior or connecting with familiar chat participants.  Their responses to my five questions we conversational dead-ends.  What if one host was assigned the task of disruptive behaviors, another was assigned to familiar participants, and at least two others were on the look-out for new people and their concerns?

In local churches I can count on face-time with a greeter and an usher.  Those two mechanistic encounters generally leave me cold.  What would it look like for a church to assign four roles among returning participants:  1.  Distraction Shepherd (“I can show you where the bathroom is”), 2. Nurture Shepherd (“Hey, I heard that you got a job, how is that going?”), 3.  Newcomer Shepherd (“Hi, I’m Doug! I’ll look for you after worship in case you’d like to talk, okay?”), 4. Website chat Shepherd (@Barb, no, the pastor doesn’t have an artificial leg, he’s limping from a basketball game!).

3. A Show

At LifeChurch the screen went black at the end of the event.  How long do our candles burn after the last note from the band, the choir or the organ?  Maybe the candle is another metaphor.  Would it be okay for me to go up on stage to play that guitar through the sound system?  Or play the piano?  While the mics are on can we let this fourth grader hear her own voices reading a poem from the bulletin or from Sunday School?  At the very least do we have to exit while the “postlude” is playing?

CLICK HERE if you would like to read my review of LifeChurch.tv.   A 10 minute excerpt of John Maxwell’s New Year’s Day sermon is included on that page.  Watch the video and save $24.95 on the cost of his latest book!  Sweet deal!

I visit area churches in order to learn best practices for my own future ministry and I write reviews hoping I can help churches claim both what they do really well and what they do not.  I post those reviews on my blog.  After the shooting last week I read about a local pastor who visited the family of the victim even though Mr. Santiago never attended the pastor’s church.  When I found the church’s Facebook page (there is no website) I read that the church “Seeks the peace of our neighborhood.”  Brilliant!  The church is located on Beacon Street.  Brilliant–literally!  I decided to visit Christian Community Church meeting about two miles down Main Street from the site of the murder.  The church worships in one of only three brick buildings, among a dozen, which is not boarded-up and tagged with graffiti.

I visited the church seeking peace in my neighborhood.  If a murder had taken place on your church’s street and you had been there at the hospital watching life ebb away from another young man over a senseless turf war, what would you pray for in church that Sunday?  What might you say to the congregation?  You might be surprised at how the pastor of Christian Community Church responded.

Read the review HERE.

I used to be that little boy who prayed for gifts at Christmas time,

But these days I find more joy in seeing things made right.

And I’ve wrapped a gift or two but today I cannot say

Just how long the presents lasted or the difference they have made.

So may the gifts we give this Christmas met the needs that go unmet,

May they heal the hurt between us; may they say what’s gone unsaid.

May we find at last in Jesus the gift we’ve always sought;

And may the love we show each other be the Gift we Give to God.

Must be some Ghost of Christmas Past who is opening my eyes

To all the chances I have had to bless somebody’s life.

Just like Ebenezer Scrooge, on the night old Marley called,

Who said the welfare of the world is the business of us all.

So may the gifts we give this Christmas met the needs that go unmet,

May they heal the hurt between us; may they say what’s gone unsaid.

May we find at last in Jesus the gift we’ve always sought;

And may the love we show each other be the Gift …

Oh, what  Christmas this would be if for once we’d set aside

All the selfishness that causes so much pain.

And isn’t Christmas, after all, all about the Gift God Gave to us…

A child to show us the way?

So may the gifts we give this Christmas meet the needs that go unmet,

May they heal the hurt between us; may they say what’s gone unsaid.

May we find at last in Jesus the gift we’ve always sought;

And may the love we show each other be the Gift we Give to God.

Words and Music by Kyle Mathews

Erica asked me to share this in worship at her church in Worcester this Sunday.  Wish me luck!

–Doug

What are YOU doing for the poor?  Before you hand out that free turkey or wrap those free toys for the poor, consider Atlanta community developer Robert Lupton’s “Oath for Compassionate Service”:

1.  Never do for the poor what they have (or could have) the capacity to do for themselves.

2.  Limit one-way giving to emergency situations.

3.  Strive to empower the poor through employment, lending, and investing, using grants sparingly to reinforce achievements.

4.  Subordinate self-interests to the needs of those being served.

5.  Listen closely to those you seek to help, especially to what is not being said–unspoken feelings may contain essential clues to effective service.

6.  Above all, do no harm.

READ MORE HERE

A quilt on the altar at East Longmeadow UMC

My son got the message weeks ago that white, crew socks are unacceptable in sixth grade.  Sunday we enjoyed a full hour of uninterrupted conversation about those white socks and the pressures of conformity.  What sparked the openness?  First, we agreed to visit a church near Springfield together–East Longmeadow United Methodist Church–and that church is one hour away.  Second, that church, through its website, encouraged participants to bring a quilt.  My son had sewn a quilt himself years ago and he was proud to share it with these strangers.  Would he share such a treasure, such a talent, with his friends?  Never.  I cherish churches because they have the capacity to ignite conversations like this.

I have written a review of a church commended to me by my wife who knows and respects the pastor.  I offer these reviews because in the days when I was responsible for a local church I would love to have heard feedback on worship that didn’t begin and end with “Nice sermon, pastor.”  As I’ve shared before, my evaluations of churches clearly reflect my own tastes and so might be easily dismissed by those with differing sensibilities.  But I also try to hold churches accountable to their own standards.  In this case I challenge the church’s commitment to “Safe Sanctuaries”, for example.  But I also find windows of grace where some kind of divine message comes through for me.  Sunday’s focus on quilting warmed my soul and opened a door of communication with my pre-teen, for example.

As always I welcome comments and invitations to explore other congregations.

READ FULL REVIEW HERE.

10 varieties of pastries at The Journey Church trumps All Saints Church's 2 plates of cookies.

Last Sunday I visited two completely different worship services in the same town.  The first was All Saints Episcopal Church in Worcester and the second was The Journey Community Church.  You can read reviews of each by clicking on the name.  All Saints has been around Worcester since the mid 1800′s.  You could say All Saints has been around since the time of Henry VII in 1534 and the formation of the Church of England and the Anglican Church.

On the other hand The Journey Community Church has been around Worcester for just over a year.  Or you could say The Journey has been around since the time of 1660 when at least 2,000 Anglican Christian Priests experimented with new liturgy, deviating from the Book of Common Prayer.  According to the British Act of Uniformity, any pastor tinkering with liturgy could lose a year’s pay for the infraction.  A second infraction brought a year in prison and termination of the ministry position–and a black-listing whereby the cleric was considered by companions as “dead”.  A third infraction brought life in prison.

After visiting these two polar-opposite churches Sunday I understand the desire for common standards.  One group meets in an ornate cathedral conceived by the same architect who designed the massive National Cathedral in Washington D.C.  Thick arches.  Thick doors.  Thick, eight-page liturgy.  Thick theology.   The Rector (Latin word for “Ruler”), decked-out in a shiny Chasuble (a fancy $900 poncho worn over an alb or robe) pontificates from a high, carved-wood pulpit.  The other church meets in the auditorium of a local High School.  There is no liturgy but rather the new church formula of four projected-lyric praise songs (including the astonishingly sentimental “I Am a Friend of God”), a generous prayer seeking a generous offering, a fort-five minute session of life-coaching and then two more songs.   What the two churches seemed to share was “rulership” by one sacred dude and…coffee.

I am intrigued by these new church starts and the methods they employ to put butts in the seat and I think old-line churches can learn much from the market-research approach used by new churches.  But I have found people, in all three new church starts I visited,  who were not attracted to these churches from a place of un-belief but rather were “poached” from mainline church membership lists.  Every person I spoke with from these churches seemed marginally invested in their trendy,new church and sounded as though they were keeping the door open to other churches down the road.

Maybe the early Anglicans knew such poaching and restlessness might take place.  In free-market ministry, the long-time cathedral community competes against a nimble group across town that serves better pastries (and they WERE very good at The Journey this week!) and has videos.   Ironically, my own tradition of Methodism did exactly what The Journey and The Woo and LifeSong churches here in Worcester have done to All Saints Episcopal, Trinity Lutheran and yes, Epworth United Methodist churches.  I suspect that neither manifestation will last as consumers ultimately find less quirky delivery of the spiritual food they seek.

So perhaps it is best to lock-up pastors who start new churches, stealing congregants away from established churches.  Better still, we could recognize that both kinds of Christianity are too quirky to be helpful these days and choose to lock-up all of our methodologies for one year.  The chasubles, the projectors, the djembe drums and pipe organs, the clergy/laity dichotomy, the buildings all go into one big closet for a year.  Would some Common Prayer emerge in that vacuum?